Letter to the Mountains: Part 2

Dear mountains,  

I know it’s not February 14 yet but I just couldn’t help myself. Here I am looking at you, in the middle of a trek, and it feels like I am looking at you for the first time all over again. You make my heart beat like nothing/no one else; you know? The things you make me do, that I wouldn’t even fathom doing otherwise. 

The perfect example is right at the very moment. Stopping in the middle of the trek, sitting on a rock somewhere, smiling so cheekily, and writing about you.

I never even thought I would come here, for the Tarsar Marsar trek. As much as I love you, you know how sometimes I get so insecure about my ability to trek and hike since those major health issues happened three years ago. But you just surprise me every time (though I should have been used to them by now). You make these stupid beliefs that I have about myself go away, just like that, aren’t you just the perfect thing to love?

Sometimes people ask me if I don’t ever get bored of you. How could I when you throw such beautiful surprises every day? Remembering the sight I witnessed just last night, surrounded by stars all around, I don’t even have words to describe how I felt. It’s a big thing you know, making a writer speechless. To try to put it into words, it was like this beautiful canvas which surely, I would have thought earlier came from just someone’s imagination. As I saw the stars twinkle, the shooting stars fall, I knew you would stop at nothing to surprise me, bringing out such an unexpected beauty in even the monsoon season.

I normally don’t write on trips, let alone write, I don’t even have my phone on me right now (have borrowed this from my roomie, thanks Sanchit). But with each sight of yours, accompanied by the gush of the water, every-time the wind blew my hair on my face (the things you do to make me smile for no reason and make me aware of your presence), I was just so overwhelmed by the feelings I was experiencing, I couldn’t help but stop in between and write this all out.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going back, not that I don’t love my life back home, but just the thought of leaving you behind makes my heartache. But I know now that you are there with me even if I am not here with you physically, just like any good lover. You teach me everything important, make my heart grow fonder, and then leave me on my own to figure it all out until I come back again.

I really don’t know how you do this! The girl who keeps on dissing everyone all the time, you make her all cheeky and romantic. The girl who would so easily close her heart to everyone else would wear it on her sleeve for you, all the time. How do you do this? Look at me, I am still smiling like an idiot, thank God no one’s here. 

Sometimes I wonder how perfect you are, and that makes me think if I will ever be able to love a human as much as I love you. I am not sure if that’s a sad or a happy thought though.

 I am such a workaholic, who has to do at least five different things at one time. But with you, I can just sit and gaze at you, all day long, day and night, just endlessly. People call me clumsy because I fall so much on treks and during hikes/climbs, well, I call myself in love. When you show such beautiful landscapes, how could I look down at my feet and on the way ahead, instead of you? How? How to not look at the lush green trees, the flowing water, the children dancing, the stars twinkling, the sky blooming with different shades, the rainbow, the gorgeous views, how?

Do you know what happens when I see you? There’s this weight that gets lifted off me, and whatever restlessness resides within me, it just calms down, and in that moment, I know, I am exactly where I belong. I learn something new about myself every time I am with you, I grow into a better and more beautiful version of myself every time I live with you. How can I not love you when you have given me all the peace in the world, you make sure I never stop and it is you who has given me, my never give up attitude, that I am so proud of.

It is going to be now 3 years since we met, I mean when we really met back in Dec’ 18 and I fell in love with you (Refer to my blog: A Letter to the Mountains) and this is just the beginning, of my journey, my story with you, our love story. Just like every love story, it has its ups and downs, (more like you have ups and downs here) and it’s not going to be easy, but it is so going to be worth it. Coming back to you very soon.

Love,

A banjaaran who finds her home in you