Finding home in Kashmir: Part 1

Kashmir functions at extreme ends, though not really by choice. Sometimes, it’s a valley of profound happiness, other times of sorrow and chaos. My experience in Kashmir consisted of both, but the former way more than the latter. While the happiness part I experienced by myself, the chaos and sorrow I felt when the Kashmiris shared their stories of death and remorse, making me teary eyed. What was even more heartbreaking was the ease with which they shared about the deaths of their friends and colleagues. I would never wish that on anyone. To get so comfortable with the idea of Death, to have to live such a life, and to be that strong to get accustomed to such pain.

As I said bye to my family on the fourth day to travel solo, I didn’t have any pre made plans in mind. All I thought was that I will probably read and write a lot and experience the serenity around. Fate obviously had other plans. I think it wanted me to experience whatever emotions and kindness I experienced next to bring to you in the reasons to visit Kashmir, something much more than the external beauty it possesses.

If before my trip, or even before I bid farewell to my family to travel solo, someone would have told me that I would love something more than the snow-clad mountains of Kashmir, I would have never believed them. After all, I am the girl who wrote love letters to the mountains on Valentine’s Day.

So, as I bid farewell to my family, and boarded a cab to Pahalgam, I sat on the front seat. It had become instinctive now, but it started as a conscious decision sometime back. I had this close friend in my life who I noticed one day sitting in the front as he left from my place to go back to his. Curious as I was, I called him and asked him why he did so. He explained to me how he didn’t want the cab driver to feel like just a driver, to feel he is doing something less of a job, to feel menial in any way at all. It may seem like a very small thing, maybe something even insignificant, something even I never thought about, but that friend’s words made me sit and ponder about it, and I realised that if this small gesture could really provide even a bit of happiness, satisfaction, respect, or any of those to the person driving me to my destination then why not. And I can tell you today, some of the most interesting conversations I have had about the places I visited, some of the beautiful beginnings to my journey and solo travel have been with cab drivers. Even though I am referring to them as cab drivers for you here, they are usually Jai bhaiya, Yahiya bhaiya, Mazrat Bhaiya, Rayees bhaiya for me. I am glad I am gifted in a way that I usually always remember the names of the people I meet or converse with.

We bonded over our thoughts on humanity, our wishes to spread happiness, our small dreams related to travel and so much more. But what struck me more than anything else was his will to show me Kashmir, the way not many people who get to explore witness, to take me to places which hardly any travelers get to see unless you spend months there, places which only locals know about. His observations about me without even knowing any of my backstory also made me realise what really happens when you constantly meet new people every day, how you learn to read them in a way even the people closest to them might miss. He said I seemed like a person who has gone through a lot of difficulties in life, who finds her solace in mountains, who is innocent yet has the courage needed to trust strangers, and my heart smiled knowing how correct he was.

And today, when I look back to that day, I am glad I decided to do that. Because the faith I showed that day in those people transpired the beautiful series of events that I experienced further. From that hike in the forest, to ending up finding not one but two special places/homes in Kashmir, my trip was just starting, and who could have thought at that time that it would lead to such intense emotions by the last day that I would end up leaving my laptop as a gift for someone I met there just a few hours ago.

Wait for my second blog to know what happens next and how I fell in love with Kashmir even more.